Sometimes I hate that Im such a pessimist, that I am always mapping and planning escape routes.... but I am, and i do.Somehow I worried of this day a few times over the years. I hoped that I would never meet it, but I have. Sometimes I think instead of thinking in this way, I wish I was one of those hopeless optimistic people that can only ever anticiapte the positives. Seems like they are so much more free. Sometimes I wonder if this aspect is one that pushed my husband away. I definitely know I have to learn to not be so critical for the future. Everyone can not handle the pressure. Sometimes I wonder if he was really insecure, and needed assurance from me.. ironically the very same assurance I needed from him. The sad thing is communication was always a struggle for him, so I may never learn what exactly was in his head that caused him to take this path.
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