Day 58

I long sometimes for my ex's family. I wish they could have helped more. His family has stayed out of the mix and I miss them.

Day 57

Let it go... learn to let it go as soon as you possibly can. It has now been months, and some days I get frustrated thinking about what has become of my marriage... how something that was supposed to last did not last. However, in order to move forward you have to cope with it and release it. Do not let this situation define you. Do not let it become a crutch or stump in your life. Keep moving forward. Do not claim it.. do not call yourself a 'divorcee'.... try your best to think of it as another breakup and not give it so much weight just because he was your 'husband'. You still have life.. and you can recover.

Day 56

Be strengthened on the fluctuation of your life. Last night I had the most harrowing experience. I came home to a cold house on one one of the coldest nights of the year. My furnace had gone out.. and it was a moment that I longed for the presence of a man to help and comfort. I keep reminding myself that God never puts more on me than I can manage. I stopped the sensation to cry, and looked for a temporary solution. The fact is I was me even before I began a marriage.. and I have to resort to being me once more.

Day 55

Don't play the what-if game. Surely you will drive yourself crazy pondering over what may have been between you and your ex. Obviously, when you started out you had bright ideas about your future, but at this point you have to find the strength to reconstruct your future and execute it with swift precision.

Day 54

Begin to formulate your comeback. To design what you want your future and want your next relationship to look like. When I look back over my marriage I can see alot of areas in which I went wrong. Im taking this time to cultivate and address those areas. Im also designing a realistic picture for my future. Before I married what was most important was a man that could provide, but Ive now come to realize having intimacy and communication is equally important if not more for me. i desire a partner, not a parent. Establishing that type of connection will prevent divorces because both you and your mate will have a deep investment in the relationship.

Day 53

Take control of the situation. In my case my ex was the one to request the divorce, and up until a few days ago I was leaving the whole process in his hands, but I feel there is a certain liberation by taking control. At first I wanted to fight as principle, but I realize there is no point for someone who is leaving me, and has no love or regard for me. Its best in such a case to just go on.

Day 52

Stay very very prayerful. This is a very vulnerable time for you and your family. Do not turn to drugs, alcohol or any other dangerous path for relief.. it will cause even more trouble in the long run. I turn to exercercise, karaoke, roller skating and quality time with friends. I express my feelings, cry if neccesary, pray and get it out. I have candid prayers with the Lord about my heart, my pain and my victory. I ask him to intercede, and most importantly to restore me.

Day 51

I never imagined being single after I took those vows. It has been tough to stomach, but I have too accept. The one thing that life and adulthood have taught me is that you have to be ready for anything. Personally, I am a very meticulous person and try hard to plan, but in life sometimes because of the connections we establish with others; we never know the path that life will take us. I also feel that wallowing is a waste of time because no amount of it can change the reality, therefore efforts are best utilized if they are used to pursue newer thing and people after a setback has occurred.

Day 50

Let revenge be the Lords. I know you will be tempted to lash out at your spouse. After all they hurt you, they took your time, they lied and broke their commitment.. etc the list goes on and on. However, revenge is the Lord's. Let him serve them in the best possible way. In my case my ex has abandoned me, dashed my dreams and broken his promises to me. He also is probably making up things against me to try to justify his choice. Sometimes i get so angry when I think of things.