I had the perfect look of things in my house. Both my (ex)husband and I are attractive people, have nice things, live in a nice apartment. Im sure many looked at us as a model couple, never knowing the strife that we endured in the privacy of our home. Today I ponder about the perfect blend of beauty and sincerity for my future. I wonder if I will ever find real love. If it is really possible to have both things in harmony. The rift strated early for us, but because of my deep rooting in the church, I tried to forge through it. In my gut... I felt the disconnect.. but my desire for the image was real. Just as I believed it was also for my husband. I believe alot of us suffer with the tug of war between the image and the reality of our homes, careers and lives, and even some sacrifice a more fulfilling life just told hold on to their image. Separating from my husband is a bittersweet thing. Its bitter because of all the mutual friends and family we share, the name we share and the time invested. Its somewhat a relief because of the sleepless nights of worry, the lack of connection, and the refusal of teamwork and compromise on his part. I have a very open mind about moving on from the past. I believe life is too short to cry too long over things that have taken place. Don't get me wrong it is sad and all what is happening to all that we have built, yet there is something freeing about it as I think of new possibilities :-) Buck up..... everything is going to be alright.
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